it took till 2021 to really learn these 3 powerful thangs’ wtf took so long? :: ))

i have a confession to make

it took me long enough

finally figured out a few key points around interacting with humanoids

both personally and professionally

as 2021 approached i picked up a few great lessons that have been put into play with some success.

and don’t get me wrong…not saying i didn’t know these things beforehand,

now they just seem to be more top of mind than ever

and since we’re all students together?…decided to share a bit with youz

frankly….been pretty lucky being able to ride this crazy blue ball this long.

before hitting the age of 30 i had a gun violently stuck in my face not once but twice…

with both of these unrelated incidents the weapon holder almost shot

could have easily been a victim of “one false move”

both were wrong place/wrong time situations as I had done nothing to deserve it

after that convinced myself that 30 was as far as i’d get and lived my life accordingly.

amazing……so far have made it way past 3 decades…..and feel grateeful

never forgetting what a deadly handgun inches from ones face feels like

learned tons of things along the way….most good…and admittedly a few not so good

here are the big three…..

number one

“compassionate communication means freedom”

it’s pretty simple

the nicer you are to others the more options/freedom you will probably have

ok..what I make up in my mind?….

i’ve pretty much been a “nice guy” along the way

however

it’s not easy being nice all the time and sometimes my niceness was lacking

for whatever reason i own an “edge” and even though we think we’re being cool?

in the others mind…we are not being cool

so

rather than raising my ire a purposeful lowering was required

cool, calm, collected

especially in the areas of mind, body and speech as the buddhist mofos call out

it’s called a “considered response”

recently i was hiking the path around the lake near our house

and ran into another humanoid who stopped and asked directions.

we ended up talking for at least 10min as i was trying to help him navigate….

it was apparent he was a deep believer in all sorts of political conspiracy make believe stories

and wasn’t afraid to let me know that.

he wanted to argue and i decided to try out some compassionate communication.

at the end of our time together he actually agreed with me on several points

especially the fact that we had different “world views”

and he didn’t get too riled up when i disagreed with his belief that the covid virus was created in a chinese lab

for the sole purpose of “killing old people”.

wow…..walking away we were both in a much better place

than if the compassion hadn’t been embraced communicating with this goofball.

btw…

goofball is a term of endearment….now f*ckball…..that’s a term of non-endearment

number two

“my patience creates less arrogance”

some have accused me of being too quick and they could be right.

from time to time this speed can get me in trouble with myself and others.

now that i’m past my previously predicted 3 decades been slowing down a bit but it’s not easy.

with that said….

when in that quick mode and conversing with humanoids

sometimes i can get 2, 3 or 4 steps ahead

in a past life work environment my led zeppelin love would blurt out

“would you please just take me to the bridge”???

translated, i’m the asshole that reads that last page of your powerpoint presentation first

bottom line this type of behavior was “one up”…ie….arrogant.

it was code for “me smarter, faster and better than you so raise your game or gtf out of here” not a good message to send to anyone no matter what pace they are at….right?

one more thing?

in my mind?…bolted on to the word arrogance is the word “annoyance”

what that word feels like to me?

when you’re on a very long hold on a technical support line.

then the support person comes on

and starts taking you step by step through the trouble shooting process?

of course you just want to instantly go to step 11…..where you’re already at

that’s my definition of annoyance. it’s only a few clicks south of arrogance btw

so now….some breathwork, slowtf down and listen and then it’s “same as” mode

we are eye to eye and i’m not an arrogant prick.

number three

“i am open to your help”

let’s get some vulnerable shit out of the way here….

my childhood = raised by a couple of humanoid wolves

not kidding…not a joke

amazingly enough they could make a good first impression on you

however if you didn’t have an education or enough money they wouldn’t want any part of you

their life theory was if you had to f*ck people over to get ahead that was ok

and other than paying for my college education my parents didn’t really offer up much “help”.

they didn’t come to my baseball games, school functions, church or sit down to help with my homework when i was stuck.

so asking someone else for help really wasn’t in my epigenetic dna.

that upbringing forced me to put my head down and muscle through anything on my own.

to make matters stranger i was a ginger….

red headed, short, chubby, black glasses with total dork written all over me.

so

it wasn’t as if people were offering to help the weird kid on the block.

i finally realized that not asking for help is not a positive quality.

it’s a detriment, it can hold you back and jack you up.

then this last year, had some learnings

another new internal mantra was discovered… “i am open to your help”.

Interstellar irony?….wouldn’t have got here without some outside help along the way :: ))

time out to thank my mind reader, counselor, alternative healer, mentor, confidant and special abilities humanoid tamara gold.

couldn’t have done it without her.

my old habit was to refuse the help you offered as that was how i was raised

or to make it worse sometimes my refusal of your help was then reversed

and I embarrassingly asked for it later which ultimately just created frustration for the helper

finally……..moving into a new mode…..

I’m open to your help.

it’s making life better

but wait….there’s more

it’s time for the bonus round of learning and humility

“honey i’m home”

this story is a doozy :: ))

just a few years back we moved into a crazy, modern house built in the 70’s that consisted of three a-frame like structures.

one was a garagemahal

the other two were “attached” and included living areas, kitchen, bathrooms and bedrooms. the first time we saw it we called it a “complex”.

after getting to know the place I dubbed it the “complex complex”

because it was literally a shitshow of connectivity.

of course the 90 day remodeling project turned into a 2 year nightmare story

and we certainly don’t need to get into detail about it.

so

what did me learn?

every time i called it the complex complex it brought up all the negativity

around the hellish, “almost a divorce” remodel project we’d just been through

then my light bulb went on and instead of the negative complex complex moniker?

when pulling in the driveway or walking in the front door instead I mantra’d “honey, i’m home”

as it had this positive, norman rockwell’esque, warm love feel around it

that was a much better place to stand on then what i was referring to it as before.

ok…enough……thanks for playing our game today….there won’t be parting gifts

but

it’s time for a brief close/summarization…..

my late in life discovery on this crazy planet might be about reconsolidation

or as tamara reminds me….effortless joy

wtf took me so long?

boom…..:: ))

as always….thanks for letting me share